Revealing Your Brand’s True Identity: Barbara Carneiro’s Four Essential Questions
SHOW NOTES
Brand strategist Barbara Carneiro has worked with Christian organizations across 7 countries for 20 years, and she’s discovered something consistent: Everyone has something special (the “glow in the eye”), but most struggle to articulate it. In this episode of The R7 Christian Marketing Podcast, Barbara shares her four essential questions that force you to look both internally and externally to discover what makes your organization truly unique.
Quick Answer: Start With Four Questions
Barbara Carneiro, a communication and brand strategist with 20 years of experience across 7 countries, has discovered that every Christian organization has something special but struggles to articulate it. Her solution: Four essential questions that force you to look both at yourself and your audience: What do you commit to do? What do you refuse to do? What is the greatest lie you silence? What is the greatest truth you want them to believe?
Who is Barbara Carneiro?
Barbara Carneiro is a communication and brand strategist specializing in Christian organizations with two decades of experience. She has:
- Lived in 7 countries across 16-17 cities (currently based in Barcelona, Spain)
- Worked with churches, nonprofits, and Christian-minded organizations globally
- Came to faith 13 years ago while already deep in business
- Created conferences for church communicators
- Dedicated her career to helping organizations articulate their unique message
Her mission: Helping Christian leaders discover and communicate the “glow in the eye” that makes their organization truly special.
Website: https://www.barbaracarneiro.com/
What is the “Glow in the Eye” Phenomenon?
Barbara has discovered something consistent across every Christian organization she’s worked with:
“They all know there’s something good inside of what they’re trying to do. They all know there’s something amazing. They’ve seen it. They’ve had a feeling about this thing. They can even live it out. But then there’s a moment where it becomes really hard to express it to others.”
Why does this happen?
The message becomes insulated. Leaders know it’s good, know other people need to hear it, know others will follow if they could hear that message, but they don’t know how to express it.
Barbara’s observation: “Even though you may have similar missions with another church or another organization, there has to be something that is so unique about you because you’ve seen it.”
The cynicism test
Barbara admits: “God has worked in my cynicism because every time, it always happens. Even when it feels like ‘oh, this one may not have anything special,’ you start asking questions, you start digging a little bit deeper and there’s that beautiful movement. God designed something that somebody caught that vision and they’re trying to build it.”
What Are Barbara Carneiro’s Four Essential Questions?
After 20 years of trial and error, Barbara has distilled her discovery process into four core questions:
Question 1: What do you commit to do?
This reveals your core promise and non-negotiable actions. What will you always deliver, no matter what?
Question 2: What do you refuse to do?
Equally important as what you will do. Your boundaries define your identity. What lines won’t you cross? What won’t you compromise on?
Question 3: What is the greatest lie you silence?
What false narrative are you combating? What does your audience believe that simply isn’t true? What misconception are you fighting against?
Question 4: What is the greatest truth you want them to believe?
The ultimate message. When someone encounters your organization, what core truth should they walk away believing?
Why these questions work: “This forces you to look at both yourself and also the audience. So understand those two pieces. For me, it’s important to always think two ways, both internally who we are, but then on the other hand, who’s on the other side of me.”
Where Should You Start With Brand Discovery?
According to Barbara: Everything needs to start with awareness.
The pool analogy
“If you’re building a pool in your backyard, you have to assess the landscape first. You have to look at what kind of space you have, what kind of ground you have. There needs to be an initial assessment.”
The discovery process
Barbara never creates messaging, graphics, or any visual content without first sitting down and asking questions. The assessment should cover:
- What is that story?
- What is the DNA?
- How did we get here?
- What are the milestones?
- What got us started?
- What got us going?
- What kept us going?
The key: “You can only pay attention to these things if you put those cards on the table.”
Why Did Jesus Ask 187 Questions and Answer Only 3?
Barbara references a fascinating statistic: Jesus asked approximately 187 questions during his earthly ministry but only answered 3.
The implication: “When he walked on Earth, he spent more time asking questions than answering them. And so I wonder what that means for us as brands, as churches, as organizations. Do we spend enough time asking ourselves questions? Do we spend enough time getting that mirror facing us?”
The mirror moment
Barbara notes that sometimes when you ask someone else a question, you realize: “Ooh, that question was for me.”
The process: “Where am I today? How did I get here? What drove me here? What kept me going? And once we start answering those questions, you’re going to find yourself facing the reality that it’s so day-to-day that we don’t pay attention to it until we’re like, wait a minute. Yeah, this is who we are.”
What Are the Four Gaps Holding Your Organization Back?
Barbara has identified four critical gaps that prevent organizations from effectively communicating their message:
Gap 1: Awareness Gap
The problem: You don’t fully understand who you are, where you came from, or what makes you unique.
The solution: Discovery process, asking deep questions, facing the mirror.
Gap 2: Messaging Gap
The problem: You know who you are internally, but you can’t articulate it clearly to others.
The solution: Moving from internal understanding to external communication through her four questions.
Gap 3: Inconsistency Gap
The problem: You can communicate your message, but it changes depending on who’s speaking or what platform you’re using.
The solution: Creating systems, frameworks, and guidelines that ensure consistency across all touchpoints.
Gap 4: Alignment Gap
The problem: Your internal culture doesn’t match your external messaging. What you say publicly doesn’t reflect what’s happening internally.
The solution: Honest assessment of culture, values, and practices to ensure internal and external alignment.
How Do You Navigate the Consistency Challenge?
Barbara warns: “Inconsistency is saying a bunch of different things at different times on different places in different ways.”
The two types of consistency problems:
1. Multiple people problem: Different team members communicate the same mission differently based on their personality, experience, or understanding.
2. Multiple platforms problem: Your message shifts depending on whether it’s on social media, in person, on your website, or in marketing materials.
Why consistency matters
When your message is inconsistent, your audience has to work harder to understand who you are and what you stand for. In today’s distracted world, people won’t do that work. They’ll simply move on.
What is the Internal vs. External Alignment Problem?
Barbara describes this as “probably the hardest gap to cross.”
The issue: Organizations say one thing publicly but operate differently internally.
Real examples Barbara has encountered:
- A church preaching community but operating with internal division
- Organizations promoting certain values externally while violating them internally
- Leadership saying one thing while doing another
Why it’s dangerous: “If you’re not living it inside, you can’t sustain it outside. And eventually, that gap becomes visible to everyone.”
What Holds Christian Entrepreneurs Back? The FLAP Framework
Dr. Dave Jones introduces the FLAP framework in the conversation, which Barbara confirms affected her journey:
Fear
Not preservation fear (healthy caution), but crippling anxiety that keeps you stuck. Barbara shares a personal example of facing fear when creating her own conference for church communicators.
Her anchor: “I did not give you a spirit of fear but a sound mind.” She literally plastered this everywhere at her conference: bags, bracelets, signage.
Lust
Not just sexual lust, but lust for possessions, power, bigger buildings, faster cars, more money. The desire that drives decisions instead of values.
Anger
What happens when people or circumstances get in the way of where you think you need to go.
Pride
Barbara admits this was a major factor in her solo journey: “I just thought I can do it all by myself.” The inability to ask for help or admit you need others.
Why Did Barbara Walk Solo for 10 Years?
Barbara shares her biggest regret: walking solo for so long without reaching out for mentors.
What held her back?
Pride: “I just thought I can do it all by myself.”
Fear: “I don’t think I believed people would be willing. Who would want to invest their time without anything in exchange?”
Pre-faith worldview: “I didn’t come to faith until I was deep in my business already. I’ve been an agency owner for twenty years. I came to faith about thirteen years ago. I was in the business world before I knew Christ in my life. And so I just believed in the corporate way of existing where everybody’s out to get you and you can’t reach out to anybody.”
The transformation
After coming to faith, Barbara’s perspective shifted: “It wasn’t until I started seeing things differently that I believed that there are people out there actually willing to just mentor, to just disciple, to just help, to just walk alongside.”
What is Barbara’s Mentorship Philosophy?
Barbara’s approach: “Always be mentoring and always be mentored. It’s basically discipleship, just a different way of saying it, but it can apply in any area of your life.”
The dual benefit
Being mentored: “I learn so much from sitting on the shoulders of those that have come before me.”
Mentoring others: “Allow somebody to sit on my shoulders and observe and learn. In those teaching moments, there’s so much that you end up either learning or reinforcing because you have to show and tell and teach.”
Not about payment
Barbara clarifies: “I’m not even saying it has to be free. I’m suggesting there are people willing to share their knowledge, to pass down to you what they’ve experienced whether paid or free.”
How Has Living in 7 Countries Shaped Barbara’s Perspective?
Barbara has lived in 7 countries across 16-17 cities (she’s lost count) and is currently based in Barcelona, Spain.
Why she moves every 5 years
“I feel like it’s such an adventure. But at the same time, I like the touristy stuff, but I really love just getting to know real life there, like with the locals, trying to understand different cultures and languages. I just love to pack my bags and move.”
Impact on her work
This global perspective helps Barbara:
- Understand cultural nuances in communication
- Recognize universal truths across different contexts
- Bring diverse perspectives to brand strategy
- See patterns that transcend geography
Still on her list: Africa and Asia (at least Asia for sure)
Key Takeaways: Barbara Carneiro’s Brand Strategy Framework
- Start with awareness – Assess the landscape before building anything
- Ask the four essential questions – Commit, refuse, silence, believe
- Close the four gaps – Awareness, messaging, consistency, alignment
- Follow Jesus’s example – Ask more questions than you answer (187 to 3)
- Look both ways – Internal (who we are) and external (who’s on the other side)
- Embrace mentorship – Always be mentoring and always be mentored
- Face your FLAP – Identify your fear, lust, anger, and pride
- Everyone has the glow – Every organization has something special worth discovering
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if we can’t articulate what makes us unique? A: You’re not alone. Barbara says every organization she’s worked with struggles with this. Start with her four questions and the discovery process. The “glow in the eye” is there, it just needs to be uncovered through intentional questions.
Q: How long does the discovery process take? A: Barbara emphasizes not rushing this. Jesus spent most of his ministry asking questions, not answering them. Give yourself time to sit with the questions and explore honest answers.
Q: What if our internal culture doesn’t match our external messaging? A: Barbara calls this the hardest gap to cross. You must address it honestly because “if you’re not living it inside, you can’t sustain it outside.” Start with internal alignment before fixing external communication.
Q: Do I need to hire someone like Barbara to do this? A: While professional help can accelerate the process, Barbara’s four questions can be your starting point. The key is honest self-assessment and willingness to ask hard questions.
Q: How do we maintain consistency across different team members and platforms? A: After discovery, create systems, frameworks, and guidelines. Everyone needs to understand not just WHAT you communicate, but WHY and HOW to communicate it consistently.
The R7 process helps Christian leaders and marketers discover their purpose and build actionable strategy around their calling. If you’re ready to stop using calling as an excuse and start living with championship-level intentionality, tune in to The R7 Christian Marketing Podcast for more faith-driven conversations about excellence in business and ministry.
Remember: Eagles don’t seek approval. They just fly. What’s keeping you grounded?
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