In the midst of pain, betrayal, and financial collapse; when life is falling apart and when dreams are destroyed, we often find ourselves saying “I can’t go on from here.”
Though the word may elude us, the feeling is despair. And, if we stay here, wallowing in these feelings of hopelessness, the world will continue to grow dim.
So, what do we do? I’ll get to more on how we can overcome these feelings in just a bit.
In the Emotional Intelligence email, you read that “emotions are the dashboard lights of our inner life. They reveal what’s really going on inside; what’s really going on in our minds. They’re the chemical reactions to what we’ve chosen to believe about reality, about ourselves, about God.”
Our culture has attempted (rather successfully) to program us with the devastating philosophy: “if it feels good, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t.”
Make no mistake friends: that looming feeling of anxiety or fear doesn’t mean quit.
Yeah, it may feel like you should. It feels uncomfortable to be in a hard place.
Notice the emphasis on “feel”. Blindly following emotion leads to a reality with horrific consequences: genocide, adultery, slavery, racism, passivity, acquiescence to evil, and the like.
This is the deception of emotion – our feelings, whether based in reality or not, will control our thought life unless we decide to responsibly choose what we believe or think.
Your evaluation of what to do next should take into consideration your feelings, but rest in reality and truth.
Daunting.
But alas, there’s a tool to help us identify, test, and manage our emotions
Emotional intelligence is a framework to help people acknowledge, have an awareness of, and manage, their emotions; all, so that they can deal with reality (and others) in a healthy and successful way.
EI means identifying ( awareness) and managing how you and I deal with ourselves and others, on an emotional level.
Do we take out anger on ourselves?
How about shame and self-hatred?
Do we abuse others through our words?
Do we destroy them through silence or emotional neglect?
Emotional Intelligence, as a framework, is divided into four quadrants. The first two quadrants focus on the emotional well-being of “self”, while the other two focus on emotional well-being within social or relational interactions:
Self-Awareness
The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives, as well as your effect on others. Start by being aware.
Self-Management
The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods and the propensity to suspend judgment and think before acting.
Social Awareness
Recognize and understand other people’s emotions and harness those emotions for the betterment of the team. (Empathy, situational/organizational awareness, service orientation)
Relationship Management
Proficiency in managing relationships and building social networks. (Communication, conflict management, leadership, bonding, teamwork, collaboration, building trust, and social skills.)
We take back control of ourselves (and how we treat others) first in our minds. We start with taking responsibility for what we choose to think on, which directly affects our emotions and feelings.
Here’s the hope in all of this: in time, your feelings will follow what you’re believing and thinking; meaning, you must start not with how you feel, but what you choose to think about.
“As a man thinketh within himself, so he is…”
Today, stop blindly following your feelings and emotions. Rather, begin trusting the process of ARM (peaks and valleys), acknowledging the emotions you’re feeling, seeking counsel, and pressing on, THROUGH the feelings.
Push through walls of failure by choosing to walk forward. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, at times, it feels like death. The truth is that the less-traveled, narrow, hard road, leads to life.
You can get through the valley. Make the choice to walk by faith. Today.
“There is a path to life,
Its way is narrow and long,
Winding up,
Beyond eye and beyond sight.
Few are they who travel on it:
The few who find life.”
Here’s to the life worth living…
© 2024 M is Good. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy
